Commit to the Struggle

Ever have those days where you just want to quit...give up...on everything n just do whatever? Ever cry so many times for no reason? Ever want something to work out n keep thinkin about how it would, but u could never wrap your head around on how it could? I had a couple weeks of these days. I scream in my head sometimes. Not really a great feeling n shootin myself with loads of coffee just to pass the day somewhat alive is not all that inspiring really...

So many thoughts and so many voices tellin contradictory things, but at least they got somedin in common: negative-ness... -.-*

Who ever said that bein Christian would be a road of easy-sailin??...i wanna smack that person n label that person insane. Following Christ is hard especially in a world that doesn't follow Him so easily.

Here I am in Wheaton College Graduate School for my masters and the warfare seems to be gettin worse...which is both good and bad. Good - b/c the more battles mean at least I'm gettin further n that someone naughty wants me to stop doin what i'm doin. And bad - b/c I sometimes get weary of the battles that keep coming. Funny thing about our journeys with God. He might give you a season of rest and peace, but the further you go with God to advance His Kingdom, the more adversity you face and the higher the "cross you have to pick up and carry" as you go (think of it this way: the higher u rise in an army, the higher the stakes with the enemies wanting to kill u n specifically target u).

There's danger everywhere. Your enemies are out there; shoot, even u urself can be an enemy - isn't that just ironic.

But here's the thing that I think some people miss out on when they convert to Christianity. It's not about prosperity like some preachers out there preach. It's not about how many people "you" can convert (there's no way u can save anyone anyhow). It's not about your safety. Dude, who said that following Christ and bein with God is a safe thing to do? No! There's a huge level of cost that everyone must consider before trusting Christ - surrender all. (that takes a lot of boldness to have that much humility).

Everything that was is now all about Him. His holistic mission to extend His rule and authority is now our mission and we need to carry this through. There's a reason why there's an Armor of God and the need to polish our armor and sharpen our Sword (Sword of the Spirit/Word of God/Truth/Christ). Who said anything about safe n smooth-sailin? God's desire is for the entire world to be under His authority n let me tell you why this is a good thing. God's authority over our lives means that our image is in Him. Our image being from Him means that we have our identity in Him. When we lose our identity and having God as our authority over our lives, we're basically screwed...we stop living and we just...exist - all the while deep within, we're searching for the very thing we've lost. Our mission is to extend God's authority to everyone. It's their choice to accept God's authority over their lives; we can't force it, but we can offer it to them.

He is indeed good and His authority is indeed a good thing.

The question is...to those of us who have counted the cost we'll face in this spiritual warfare upon us, are we warriors committed to the struggle? Regardless of any battle we fight in. Regardless of the enemies we need to fight against. Regardless of the number of enemies we may fight with at the same time. Regardless if we might lose some battles. Are we warriors that are committed to the struggle? To this fight to serve our King? Or are we just traditional people wearing dusty armor and carrying dull swords?

If indeed the last question is something that speaks to you, you need to choose to either not fight at all or to change what needs to be changed now! Time is running out for us all; don't be a fool to think otherwise.

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This is something I wrote for myself to encourage myself to commit to the struggle. I guess a little sermon I found myself preaching to myself. I seriously cannot fail now. There's just too much I have to do in this war. My prayer for us all is to catch the light of the Truth we believe in and find strength in the vision of what is to come in times of weariness and in times where darkness tries to stop us aggressively. God is the same God now as He was when He spoke everything into existance with just His voice. He is powerful beyond all measure; what or who have we to fear except Him?