God's Shouting. Are you listening?

Why does pain happen? I don't have all the answers, but allow me to share something that I have experienced last week + weekend. My birthday is November 5 which was on a Friday this year. Well, I lost my phone on my way to downtown Chicago. I took the metra transportation and lost my phone during my ride. I live in a generation where we put most of our plans, alarms, and other information on our phones. I felt truly disconnected and weird without my phone.

The next day, Saturday, I got sick. I got a cold and my throat was acting up. Sunday, I went to take my roommate to church because she doesn't have a ride. I missed mine because I forgot about changing the time for the daylight's saving time (or w/e that thing is called). Well, it took FOREVER to find parking and when I did find parking, I went to the church, but the fire alarm went off. My roommate goes to an Anglican church and I guess that day was the day for the saints and they did so much incense that it set off the fire alarm. AND I also found out later that day that I couldn't call Lost&Found at the Metra Transportation Center until Monday 8am and it's not like I can go there because on Monday my intensive class started. So that just made me irritated b/c it seemed like nothing was going well.

On Monday, one of my intensive classes started (intensive class = a class that lasts all day for either 3 or 7 days..but this class was for 3 days from 8:30am-5:30pm). Well, I call Lost & Found and the lady tells me that I need to call at 9am because if I lost it on Friday then they won't get stuff until 9am. I couldn't call because I had my intensive class. Well, my roommate was awesome to get my phone for me, but when I got my phone back it seemed like it didn't really matter because I found out Monday night that my grandfather passed away on Sunday.

My dad asked if I could come to the funeral which was going to be held the next day, Tuesday 8pm in Flushing, NY. I told him that I would figure it out. So Tuesday comes along and it turns out that I can't anyway. My dad found out I had intensive classes and told me to stay anyway. So now I know that I can't go to my grandfather's funeral. Wednesday was the day for all the presentations to be done in class. My first presentation went well, but the most important presentation was the second presentation. I was the last one to go, but before it was my turn to go, I get a text from my brother telling me that I was the only one from my entire family that didn't go to the funeral. My family members from Brazil and California came. I was in Chicago and I couldn't go to the funeral...wow, that just messed me up emotionally. I haven't cried yet at all and I couldn't hold it in anymore I guess cuz I couldn't stop crying. I did my presentation anyway, but I basically screwed it up because I cried throughout my presentation.

On Thursday, my boyfriend "broke up" with me. And just when I thought I couldn't get any lower, I sought some friends of mine that I knew lived next to me, but they were unavailable at the time. Although I knew they were probably busy (if I were to think like normal and not going through all these things), I had thought at the time that they had forgotten me and didn't care about me at all. This was not the case of course, but when you are in pain and are suffering, you attack yourself.

I never had bad stuff happen to me EVERY day like this before so I didn't understand and couldn't make sense of it, but the one thing I constantly did throughout was proclaim: God is good all the time and all the time, God is good!

Even when I didn't feel God near or feel Him near, I still proclaimed it because I believed He was. Why is it that it is during our pain and suffering when we cry out to God the most? Sometimes I think that God shouts to us everyday and we don't listen because we're havin a great time so it seems like whispering more than shouting. When I was in pain and I sought after Him through my cries, He seemed to be shouting already...not in hate. No. But in love. Telling me things like "I love you. You are not alone. You are never alone. Come to Me. I am trying to reach you, but I want you to choose to come to Me. I love you; I love you!" Oh what a fool I was if I ever doubted. Oh what a fool I was if I rejected Him. How great is our God!

Anyway, the next day, it kept getting better and better. I got back together with my boyfriend (he talked to me. It was a miscommunication. I had misheard because I was emotional and was going through a lot. I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear because I was attacking myself because I was in pain), hung out with a lot of friends who cared, and felt the peace of God.

Peace...

True peace is when you can find it in the midst of darkness and struggle. And I found it when I continued to proclaim that God is good throughout this period of bad stuff. I cannot guarantee that your pain will go away and that a Christian life is extremely easy (um, because it's NOT ::read my post prior to this one::), but what I can guarantee is that no matter what happens, God is good all the time.

C.S. Lewis once said, "God whispers in our pleasures, but shouts in our pain."